Calling Taylor Twellman

By: Jeremy | April 28th, 2008

With of course a few exceptions, there is a reason players who can put it in the back of the net date or marry the type of women that even fringe Serie A players drool over. While I might drool at the type of women Alessandro Matri could likely score by just walking into a nightclub and people knowing he plays for Cagliari, he will always be drooling at the type of women say Francesco Totti or Mallorca soon to be Barcelona goal scoring stud Dani Guiza run around with.

So what is my point? I just ordered one of those Kick Medics for Matri and am sending it to Sardinia with my boy Taylor Twellman with a special note to learn how to use it so maybe someday he can learn some more advanced technique and learn to score. Although he has scored some goals this year including a big one against Napoli, the man is basically Joaquin Larrivey with a haircut. Cellino needs to tie these two guys together and never let them on a football pitch. Matri is so frustrating to watch.

I know we werent supposed to beat Inter this week, but with all their injuries, if we ever had a shot, this was it. Again Inter played terrible and I personally think Milan will crush them next week, but luckilly when you play the likes of Torino and Cagliari, you can play like crap and still win because the bottom level clubs simply cant put the ball in the back of the net against the big teams.

To see how many shots Matri had on goal this weekend only to flub them can drive a fan crazy. How can you not know how to kick the damn ball and wear a Serie A teams uniform. The reason he cries is because he knows he sucks. Former Milan youth player, former Cagliari player, and current(insert Serie B team here) player will be his title next year. Even if Cagliari is in Serie B next year, he wont play for Cagliari. Unless you happen to employ Pippo Inzaghi and a bunch of great midfielders, I am a big fan of the two striker allignment. The right combo can play havoc on a defense, but Matri and anyone is a waste. He even makes Acquafresca look bad.

Anyway we lost to Inter 2-1. It could have been worse, but should have been better. This is a match to forget and move on and look at whats important as we now have three matches left and things are even tighter in the relegation battle. Cagliari is probably even money to go down, but they will likely have something to play for their last match of the year which is all any of us can ask for since we have Matri playing as much as he has this year.

Lets look at the relegation candidates with three weeks left as there are some teams that are in even more dire straits then we are:

Catania
35 points
remaining matches: Reggina(H), Juventus(A), Roma(H)
odds of relegation:even money
Catania is in a similar position to Cagliari. Same amount of points, a home match with Reggina and two matches where they wont likely win unless they get a disinterested Roma side with nothing to play for the last week. Reggina is going to beat Catania or Cagliari and the team that loses will likely be relegated. Catania faces its must win match this week. A Cagliari fan could arguably pull for either team, but I would like a Catania win this week.

Cagliari
35 points
remaining matches: Fiorentina(H), Udinese(A), Reggina(H)
odds of relegation: even money
Again the wins over Empoli and Livorno cannot be understated in this teams push for survivial. As they play their brutal three match run, you see how a cushion can go away real quick. I expect Cagliari to be in the relegation zone coming into its game against Reggina with a win saving its season. A tough task, but one Ill take considering where we have been.

Torino
34 points
remaining schedule: Napoli(H), Livorno(A), Fiorentina(H)
odds of relegation:better then 50%
Torino is worse then its points indicate. I do not like this club, but it stole enough points early on to where it may avoid the drop. Napoli has nothing to play for but it is Torinos must win match. I dont think they beat Fiorentina who likely needs a win the last week to determine its Champions League fate and Livorno on the road will be Livornos last effort to survive. This team could go under.

Reggina
33 points
remaining matches: Catania(A), Empoli(H), Cagliari(A)
odds of relegation: better then 50%
Props to this team for quietly doing what it needs to do to survive. A bottom two team for most of the year, they are winning big games when it counts. With an easy schedule left, I think they finish with 38-39 points and are safe. Where they get five-six points from is anyones guess, but I think they pull it off.

Empoli
33 points
remaining matches: Udinese(H), Reggina(A), Livorno(H)
odds of relegation: 50%
Just when you want to count them out, they come up big by beating Genoa on the road. It shows this team still has fight left in it. I see four maybe five points coming to them and that might be enough to survive. On the outside looking in right now, but they can see survival.

Parma
31 points
remaining matches: Genoa(H), Fiorentina(A), Inter(H)
odds of relegation: pretty certain
Parma has crapped out and Cuper is not making the difference I thought he would. They have lost two winnable games in a row and now will face a Genoa team looking for pride, Fiorentina who has more to play for then anyone, and an Inter team they are begging to have the Scudetto wrapped up by the last week. I cant see them finishing with anymore then 35 points and that just wont get it done. See you in Serie B Parma

Livorno
30 points
remaining schedule: Atalanta(A), Torino(H), Empoli(A)
odds of relegation: not as bad as Parmas but they are in a mess
As a Cagliari fan, I want them to lose to Atalanta and beat Torino and Empoli. This may allow a team with 37 points to surivive. All three of these games are winnable for Livorno, but with two other teams playing for something, I can see some draws coming. Seven points is the max for them but I likely see four. Too many points to make up and too little time.

Right now I pick Livorno, Parma, and Torino to go down. Cagliari needs to get a point against Udinese or Fiorentina so going into the last match against Reggina, a draw might save them. The relegation battle will be even tighter after week 36, but Empolis big win in Genoa only scared the rest of the teams who each have different issues.

Isnt this fun?

Ill let you know what Taylor does with my boy Matri once he gets back from showing him how to use the kick medic.

Have a great week everyone.